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July 19, 2010



I didn't suffer overt emotional abuse - he didn't make comments like "you're worthless", but he did reject nearly everything I said, any opinion, any feelings.
I didn't get hit either, well, not after the police told him off for pushing me around one day.
But I am numb and feel as if I am full of tears.
I don't feel like I can heal.
I know it says (above) "you can heal quickly" but I seem to be bogged down in the grey that the relationship and proximity to him created.

Kathryn's g'daughter

Keep reminding yourself that living in a dog house like a dog doesnt make you a dog.


I have just left a very long-term emotionally abusive marriage and though I was pretty certain that I would leave and stay left, with the support of professionals in the domestic violence services, I still second-guess myself, especially after contact with my ex or people he has spoken to. He obviously doesn't see himself as being violent or abusive, insisting that he doesn't do what the abusers programs say are violent behaviour, but when I read the signs in this post, I don't need any convincing. He is no longer overt in his abuse (after being arrested) but his ability to put subtle and covert blame on me while trying his hardest to get the family back by appearing remorseful is mind-boggling. I am crying reading this post - thank you for the hope that trauma doesn't define who we are. I have symptoms of what I have suffered, but that doesn't mean they are going to be with me forever!

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