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November 11, 2009



Dear Annie, I love your answer. People keep trying to tell me that if I had stayed and used boundaries not to get enmeshed, our marriage could have been saved. But I feel that just staying enables him - why should he not use/abuse me while I am there? But now that I have left, he keeps trying to regain me, with sweet cards, gifts, nice emails, promises, etc. Sometimes I think that his nice behaviour is more of a dagger, because it is saying, "See, I am indeed a really great partner, and you are a jerk for not recognising it, and you'll see what you lose. And I'll make sure everyone knows how reasonable I have been since changing and how cold you are now."

jacque blatchford

Dear Annie,
My husband has threatened suicide if I continue to speak w/my friend who has been like my mother. He has already told our 3 children ages 28,18 and 17 that he will kill himself if I even go to visit my friend. He's even told me how he plans to do it. The kids think I am wrong to keep my friend. They feel that life would be great for all if I cut ties w/my friends. He even wants me to get rid of my cell ph. and computer. I can truly say that he is driving me to hate him. What can I do to fix this? J.

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