Say Yes To Confidence

"The Secret Of Failure"

    

Isn’t it great when the pundits welcome in the New Year with glad tidings to the effect that “it’s bad now, and it’s going to get a whole lot worse”?

Ok, so maybe it isn’t. 

You have to remember that these people get paid for being depressing.     

It’s called being ‘realistic’.   

But it’s not just the pundits who do it.   

Just this week I spoke with a client who has ‘dealt with all her limiting beliefs’.  She knows all about them, and she has dealt with them; she doesn’t have any left. 

So when I asked her what her goals were for 2009, I was more than a little surprised when she said she didn’t have any.  When pushed, she said she would like to be working full-time in her partner’s business by the end of the year and reduce her credit card debt. 

Now, these are worthy things, no doubt about it.  But are they big, exciting goals that will get her out of bed in the morning?   

Hardly. 

You see, she was focusing on is things being a little less bad, rather than creating the lifestyle she wants. 

But then she hadn’t understood the point of goals. 

A goal that really resonates with you is something that inspires you to take action. 

Setting great, inspiring goals will: 

• Increase your net worth

• Improve your quality of life

• Free up leisure time

• Lead to new knowledge and skills

• Open up new horizons

Why? 

Because a great goal (or several) will motivate you to take inspired action.  (I’ve seen it happen time and time again; clients get all fired up about their goals, they take action and things take a radical turn for the better.) 

Nothing succeeds like taking action.   

Often, it’s enough to take one small step after another to achieve massive results.   

My client wasn’t having any of it.   

Because she knew that big dreams just lead to big disappointments.   

“What about Bill Gates, and Richard Branson and J.K. Rowling and Gerry Halliwell and…  you get the picture.  All the random people you can think of who start with a dream and make it happen, on the strength of that dream.”  I asked. 

“Ah but” she said… 

“Aha!”, I thought.  “She’s a member of the Black Ahbut Clan, the people who have an objection for every hope, dream vision and wish, who spend their days in Black Ahbut gloom, their heads swathed in the black and charcoal Ahbut tartan…” 

(You probably don’t know anybody remotely like that, but I’ve met a few.) 

It turns out a couple of people close to her discovered the Secret of Failure.  They were talented enough for other people to want to believe in them and offer them practical support.  Yet it all came to nothing. 

Now, my client interpreted that as meaning that big dreams end in failure, until I revealed to her the Secret of Failure.  (It’s one of those dastardly Secrets-that-are-hidden-in-plain-sight, FYI.) 

Her near and dear ones had REFUSED to take action.  (That’s like taking your magic wand and throwing it in the bin.) 

She got the picture.   

Now she is cheerfully setting herself big, fat goals and creating her action plan.   

And she has this Mark Twain quote posted on her monitor: 

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.” 

You can create your truth through your actions. 

What will you do to confound those miserable pundits and make 2009 your best year yet?

 

“A Problem Is A Problem Is…”

Earlier this week, I was sitting over dinner with someone who regaled me with his concerns for his offspring’s partner. His concerns may, or may not have been justified, but here’s the thing: the person who was the focus of his concern didn’t see that there was a problem. 

Therefore the only person who had a problem – and for him it was a big problem – was my fellow dinner. I pointed this out to him and, given that it was troubling him excessively, I volunteered to help him clear his problem in about 15 minutes flat. He smiled uncomfortably and made vague, polite noises. 

Why?

He was utterly unconvinced. He belonged to the Gertrude Stein school of thought.

Gertrude Stein famously said:

“Not All Coaches Are The Same”

The other day I was talking to a good mate of mine about popular misapprehensions about coaching.

“Let’s face it”, Annie, he said; “not all professions are created equal. Some of the less publicly acceptable ones include: tax inspector, funeral director, proctologist, bailiff and, nestling in there among them lies your own professional label, ‘coach’.” 

“Thanks for sharing that, John”, I replied. 

“You’re welcome”, he said, grinning that demonic grin of his. “I hate to tell you this” – trust me, he didn’t, he was loving it – “These days even hydrotherapists (aka colonic irrigationists) and call girls are better regarded, thanks to Billy Piper.” (John is a big fan of Billy Piper.) 

Ever the ‘contrarian’, John continued:

Who Else Wants More Confidence?

 Can you ever be too rich, too drop dead gorgeous, or too confident? Seemingly not, barring the very occasional exception that only proves the rule. (There's always one, isn't there?)

Confidence is something we assess from the outside. They have it, or so we think, because they behave differently to us. Of course, in a lot of cases, they only behave that way to cover up their lack of confidence. (But we don’t see that, because we are too busy worrying about our lack of confidence.)

One of the great paradoxes about confidence is...

"What Size Are Your Boots?"

You might be wondering: “What possible interest could the size of my boots hold for you, Annie?” 

(Sure, I’m not offering to buy them, and I’m not plotting to run off with them. Not unless you have some nice pairs of Jimmy Choo’s – unworn, please – in a size 4½. In which case, please notify me, asap.)

So, to a point you’d be right, I’m not hugely interested in your shoe size, per se. But here’s what I am interested in: that old anxiety about ‘being too big for your boots’.

Isn’t funny how often children are told: “You are getting too big for your boots”?