Abused No More

"How Long Will You Settle For Crumbs?"

I’ve been working with a woman who can neither give up her abusive partner nor be with him.

She can’t be with him because she can no longer blind herself to the fatal flaws in the relationship. But she can’t let him go because of the good moments they share together every so often.

She still fails to see the mechanism at work there, that the good moments are the bait on his hook that keeps her biting. 

Perhaps she fails to see that because she cannot bear to confront her own motivation. She needs to believe that those good moments are a taster of all that she can still have with this man, if she just tries a little harder and makes a few more sacrifices. 

Even, or maybe I should say especially, she is tiring of her own stubbornness. Yet she cannot let go.

Why?  CLICK HERE to find out why and how she can start to let go right now.

"I Must Have Been Mad"

Have you ever said: “I must have been mad to stay with him” or “I must have been mad to stay in that relationship for as long as I did”?

If you have, be aware that expressing that idea marks an early stage in your healing process. 

Although it doesn’t necessarily make you feel good. Because it suggests that you are shouldering the blame for the relationship. Shouldering blame is a fairly negative exercise. But when that blame shifts into responsibility it can become a step towards empowerment. 

How does that work? It is only when we take responsibility for our own situation that we can claim the power to change it.  Shouldering blame is CLICK HERE to carry on reading

“All by myself. Don’t want to be…”

"Alone" is the word, above all others, that strikes fear into the heart of every woman who finds herself forced to walk away from a relationship.  Even when that relationship is hopelessly unsatisfactory.

Today I received a call from a client whose marriage has ended after 30+ years. She was, she said, trying to remain positive. She was also terribly worried about the prospect of spending the rest of her life “alone”.

Anyone who has been reading this blog for the last few months will already have heard about the Billion Dollar Man. He's the guy who, having grown up in a climate of domestic violence wants to make £10 Billion to build a refuge in every town and city throughout the world.