« Abusive Men – Why They Don’t Want You To Be Happy | Main | "The Most Wonderful Time..." Bah! Humbug! »

December 22, 2010



WOW - this is me, Teetering on the edge of the diving board, ready, but never jumping. My fear keeps me there. I am so dependant and with 4 kids, and no drivers license, the fear seems soooo very paralyzing.


Hi there, I can totally relate to the 'diving syndrome' that you so well portray. I actually would take the dive, get out of the pool and go up the steps again and contemplate the dive yet again. This fortunately has only lasted about a year. I am in the pool right now and have gotten out of the water twice but did not go up the ladder, so to speak. I kept waiting after getting back into the relationship for another one of his lies to surface so that I could muster up the anger enough to take the dive again. I recently read about the 'abusive spouse cycle' and WOW. I have been doing ok and discovering what I like and what things about me aren't true that he said about me. I can survive and be well. I am a single mother of 3, not his, and I am back to being on 'my own'. He would often reiterate to me how lucky 'we were' to be together since probably no man could do what he did(put up with 3 kids that aren't his). Nonetheless, I find myself focusing on his 'positive side' and recently I answered his messages to me..the ones that beg for forgiveness, tell me how much he loves me, so on and so on. I KNOW they are manipulative and yet I still responded, all of them were angry except the last one where I tell him that 'I will always love him and this is why this hurts so much. Goodbye.' I was fine until that last text message and somehow I felt like I had given my power away, yet again. Big surprise, I feel depressed. Even though I got the last word, I still struggle with going back and forth in my head about what he is thinking, doing, feeling, etc. I hate that he still has this power that I am giving him. I am looking for a support group because I never imagined this would be so hard. Thank you for your analogy and I am determined to stay off the stairs and going on that damn diving board yet again. Thanks.


IMO, pressuring someone to leave when they're not ready can make it worse. I stayed with my abusive parents until I finished my masters degree. People were telling me to get out ASAP, but I had no money to do it. I knew I would make it outside of my parents' house by waiting to get a job after graduation.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

My Photo


Sponsors ii

Goooogle ads

Blog powered by Typepad