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August 26, 2010

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Goldy 55

I could have written this! My soon to be ex-husband had help though & it was my mother (an abuser herself) Besides having a room rented & the church, it was 3 mo. before our wedding & I had done nothing. My mom kept asking & asking what I was going to do. What didn't she see? She knew, I now believe, but he was another one of her "puppies" she would pick up on the street. My mom was the world's best "enabler". She never learned to just guide she took control. I left him once after marriage & divorced him 3 yrs. later. She didn't want to know, she said, because she liked him & didn't want to get in the middle. In other words, she was telling me I was making too big a deal out of this. I was 22 when married & he was my lst serious relationship only because I had wanted it this way. I enjoyed playing the field something my mom hated so when I brought him home she fell hard. He had a sob story from childhood & she would fix everything for him by giving me away.....I guess. I was a virgin when I met my future husband & yes he was pushy w/sex. The sad reality is I went back w/him after 1-1/2 yr separation & we had a child. She graduated college last yr. & I filed for divorce after 33 miserable yrs. My mom is dead, but if she can hear me she knows I'm not happy w/her. She was my mom someone who was suppose to protect me, not him. Now he has our daughter involved something I didn't want by staying an additional 15 yrs. past the time I should have. I pray her & I can work this out because if anyone has children w/an abuser, you know you are a single parent for the duration.

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