You might be wondering whether I have taken leave of my senses?
After all what has any orange, whole or halved, to do with emotional abuse?
Not a lot.
But think book titles, specifically: “Meeting Your Half-Orange”, by Amy Spencer. The half-orange is a translation of the Spanish phrase mi media naranja, which means “my half-orange”; use to describe, in love, one’s sweetheart, one’s beautifully perfect other half.
Now, what’s a book about meeting your half-orange, from Dating Optimist Amy Spencer, possibly got to do with where you are now in your life?
The fact that you are reading this blog tends to suggest that you have been struggling to transform the very sour half-lemon in your life into a half-orange, and failing miserably.
It’s not surprising. And it’s not your fault.
For two reasons. First, as you already know to your cost, there are no magic wands; and lemons don’t turn into oranges. Second, ‘your’ half-lemon is very happy to be a half-lemon; he enjoys being so sour as to be thoroughly unpleasant.
You want sweetness in your life; all he ever offers you is sourness. Because that is all he wants you to have.
(Of course, there were the few good times at the start of the relationship, but those were just to grab your attention and get you hooked on him.)
Dating is probably the last thing on your mind right now. And rightly so. You have every reason to fear meeting another half-lemon – until you can grasp all that is fantastic and valuable about you.
“Meeting Your Half-Orange” has a great message for you. The message is about who you need to be – and can be – in order to have a happy life. Amy Spencer argues that in order to meet a great partner, you need to be the vibrant, fantastic person that you really are.
Now, I have a fair idea of the kind of things your abusive half-lemon has said about you. (My half-lemon said the same things, give or take a bit, to me.) They weren’t complimentary. And they are certainly not true. It’s just a fact that a sour person will say sour things – that’s an integral part of his job description. (And how he loves that job description!)
You don’t need to think about dating, to start to upgrade the view you have of yourself. Amy Spencer provides you with some great tools to discover how fantastic you really are.
Your abusive partner had a vested interest in turning you into the shadow of a person. That is what it takes for him to feel worthwhile and important. But you don’t have to go there.
Let go of his vision of you.
Reclaim who you are. Amy Spencer can give you some fantastic pointers to do just that.
Whether or not you are ever going to want to meet your half-orange, you owe it to yourself to become the sweet, juicy, perfectly lovable person you truly are.