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August 03, 2008

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Debbie

I now realize "why" I stayed w/my abuser, as well as, married this guy. I was 22 yrs. old & hadn't found what I had wanted to do w/my life yet. Traditional women fields didn't interest me ex. teacher, nurse etc. & I was being constantly pressured by my family to "find something". I now realize I was "depressed & lost" as my family continued the pressure. I was dating my future abuser at that time & although he wasn't abusive there were ?able signs that made me think, but then again ignore & continue w/relationship. My family liked this guy & continually encouraged him to hang around. WHY, I have no idea! When I finally found the career that really made me fulfilled, I started to really enjoy life, but was married by then to my abuser who had already started his games. He never wanted to do anything always telling me to do it because I knew what I was doing such as buying house, taking care of finances, etc. One day I realized I was doing everything; he didn't share in anything even household chores. It just became easier for me to do it since I didn't think it was worth arguing about. I also realized I had come from a violent home life of constant screaming & yelling & never wanted to live like that again. I now recognize HOW I WAS SUCKED INTO LIFE W/AN ABUSER.....but I have left him 1 yr. ago & do not talk w/him just enough email communication to get joint items taken care of w/home &
disolution of personal things. He doesn't give up though trying to drag me into his web of deceit. I have lived alone for 1 yr. now............realize how miserable my life was

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